The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.-Steel Magnolias

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Baby, I Was Born This Way!!

This post is going to be a little different. Let's talk about nature versus nurture. You know are you defined by heredity or your environment or both.  I fall on the side of both, personally. I don't know how many of you know this, but I'm adopted. If you saw me with my parents, you'd never know. I look so much like my family!  Just today, a guy at my parent's house was going on about how much I favor my daddy! We let him go on for a few minutes before telling him I'm adopted. He was floored!

I feel like I get a lot of my traits from my parents.  I'm not very organized, like my daddy. And neither of us can remember names worth a flip. I'm a huge reader, like my mama, and we both like word puzzles. And then there's our love of shoes. But there are many traits that don't come from either of them. I have a temper like you wouldn't believe. And my daddy is very, very slow to anger. I am so not domesticated and don't care to learn. But I grew up watching my mama cook and sew and knit and cross stitch and macrame.  And my politics couldn't be more different from their's.

So I said all that to tell you that my daughter wants to learn to sew.  She is very crafty. This people is an example of nature.  Ben's mom, who disowned us a couple of years ago, is very crafty. She is Martha Stewart, as is his sister.  But Leah hasn't been around them much and not at all in the last 2 years. And though Mama used to do all that craft stuff, she hasn't done it in Leah's lifetime. And she certainly hasn't seen me do it! (I gave that child my hair and eye color and my temper and that's about it! LOL) So all that craftiness just came down thru the blood.

Last week, she decided she wanted to make a Domo. She's obsessed with this thing.  She found one to copy on the internet, I bought the supplies and she made it. She did it all, by hand.  I think she did a pretty good job for her very first sewing project.  Now, she wants to make more things.  And my boss was kind enough to pass along a beginner's sewing machine that had been her daughter's.  How sad is it that BEN is the one teaching Leah how to use it and not me?  I would like to say I care and that it bothers me, but it really doesn't!

Here's her creation:

Not bad, huh? It's a little rough around the edges, but it was her first sewing project! I think she did great! Other things she didn't get from me include her athleticism, her unlimited compassion for animals and her style of dress. Oy! I hate the way the child dresses!! LOL  But I love who she is and I love that she's strong enough in herself that she doesn't compromise that style for anyone. Actually, I love that AND I hate it.  That hard headedness? That came from me!

And, baby, she was born that way!!
I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way

Thank you, Lady Gaga!


  1. I have no idea what/who Domo is, but she did a great job!

    I'm not a parent, but I am an aunt. I think I care more about seeing my traits in the kids when they're younger than I do as they get older. They become such interesting people in their own right that it stops mattering where each part comes from and it becomes more about what they will do with it. I appreciate more what they receive from outside the family, whether it is education or experience or political opinions. They bring that back into the family and it enlivens our interactions. I learn from them.

    OK. I am not writing a grad school paper here, although you wouldn't know it from the length of this post!

  2. I love your story! And I love the Lady too, she rocks the house and makes me smile. As a psychotherapist, I agree with you that we have to be a mix of nature and nurture. As a daughter, I know I am *so* much like my (departed) Dad, it's spooky.

  3. I loved this post! Too bad we don't live closer and your daughter and I could work on some projects together. I wish I had a sewing partner who lives closer than my mom does (she lives 12 hours away!) :)

  4. Oh, Viktoria, she would want to move in with you!! And you could teach her so much!!

    MJ, you are welcome to write a term paper anytime!!

    Patti, I didn't know you are a psychotherapist! Wow. I bet you have some serious stories! Oh, the things you could probably glean from us! LOL

  5. This was a nice post ... nice. You all sound so happy. I am jealous.

  6. Joy, my parents divorced when I was 3 and I went to live with my paternal grandmother and then my dad remarried and I lived with him and his new wife. I didn't grow up with my mother and only saw her a couple times a year....well, more when I was younger and less when I got older. Before I graduated HS, it had been 3 years since I had seen her. After graduation I visited her in NM and subsequently moved there to be close to her. She and I couldn't believe some traits that we shared that I could not have learned from her because she didn't raise me. Like standing at the kitchen counter with one leg bent with right foot resting on left knee (stork style). Or picking at our lips. Or standing with one foot facing inward. On the other hand, we were natured COMPLETELY differently! She was VERY organized and meticulously clean, pragmatic, not very emotional and a little bitty woman. I'm NONE of those things! But it IS nice to know and to learn to be unapologetic for the way I am. I've learned that while I can work on some things, at 44 years old, I'm probably not going to change my personality. Great post and how sweet that your girly wants to sew! Hugs to you! ~Serene

  7. she did a great job
    either you have it or you don't!

  8. Joy-amazing post!!!
    Serene-we must be related, because my mother and I stand in the kitchen "stork style" and I have never seen anyone else do that! LOL