The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.-Steel Magnolias

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Are You A Nitpicker?!

Are you hard on yourself, or can you take a compliment? If someone tells you that you look great do you say thank you and that's it. Or, are you like me, and say "Thank you, but...."?

See that picture to the left? Lise thought it was so cool, especially in black and white. You know what I see when I see that picture? A double chin. That is ALL I can focus on. She told me to shut up. LOL But seriously, that's all I see. If that picture was one of y'all, I'd never notice the chin. I'd think it was just a cool picture.

Why am I that way? Why are any of us that way? I already deal with al ot of insecurities about my weight, my figure, my clothes. Doing this blog has made me aware of how very critical I am of myself.  There are a lot, I mean A LOT, of cute, skinny, young women writing blogs. And I really enjoy them. But man, they make me feel old and fat some days. You don't find many over 40 women blogging. (If you have links to some, send them my way. I follow a few, but I can name them all on one hand.) And you don't find many women that are size 12/14 and bigger blogging or being featured. I'll be forthright about my size. I'm a 12/14; a 12 on some days and a 14 on others. Then there are the days that nothing smaller than a tent feels good. I feel like Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias here, "I wear a 6 but a 7 feels so good, I buy an 8."  I just don't feel like many of the really cute looks I see on other bloggers will look right or good on me. I'll like a look, try it and think, Uh, no. I don't think so.

I am very self conscious about my weight. Even when I was a rail in high school, I thought I was heavy. My husband informs me that I was a stick and that it was really not that attractive. Thanks, honey! I've never had a flat stomach though, even at my skinniest. I tend to carry all my weight in the middle and after 2 kids, well, let's just say, it's not any better! So I tend to be really self conscious about anything I wear. It would be nice to be a size 8 again. And I guess I could be if I really dieted and exercised all the time, but that seems like a lot of effort! :)  And it affects me when we're taking pictures. I'm constantly trying to figure out how to hide my figure flaws! Do you do that?

I would love to be tall and thin like Lise. But Lise says it brings it's own set of problems and I know I've heard her complain about her figure, too. She has trouble finding pants long enough. She complains that she's built like a boy. Which, she totally isn't, by the way.

Then there are the looks that I feel are too young for me. But, really, ARE there looks that are too young for any age?

I've apparently become obsessed with Rachel Bilson, despite probably being old enough to be her mother. I like the look of the dress with the denim jacket.

Boots: Target, $7.56
Jacket: thrifted, $4.88
Dress: Sassy Pants, $12
Bag: Michael Kors, gift from B.
Sunnies: Michael Kors

It just didn't translate as well as I thought it would. It seemed to look better in the mirror at home. I'm not digging this picture at all.

So, I took the jacket off and then all I can see are every bump of my body. Maybe I'm just having a bad day?
I don't know what to do with my hands!And my tights won't stay straight!
Ok. I didn't write this wanting validation from anyone, so please don't do that. But I would like to hear how you guys deal with body issues, size issues or just flat out insecurity. Has blogging helped you get over it at all? Can you truly take a compliment and move on? Do you think you can be too old/young for a certain look? Too skinny/heavy for a certain look.

I really, really want to hear what everyone thinks!


  1. I just found your blog yesterday linked from Style Underdog's blog.

    You wanna know why I bookmarked you two? It's because you are *real* women! You are REAL and you are in your 40s just like me!!!

    It's because you aren't some little 20/30 year old honey that could double as a supermodel in real life. I can't identify with that but I do identify with you!

    You have lives and families and a job to get up and go to everyday just like me. You are women who manage to look darn stylish and cute while keepin' on! That's what I like about y'all!!!

    Hugs from Ohio!

  2. Lisa, you have absolutely just made my day!! Thank you so much!

    Those are some of the reasons we started this blog. We wanted other women to know that there are other 40 plus women who work and have families and aren't always dressed trendy out there.

    We are most definitely real!

    Welcome and THANK YOU!

  3. I, too, am a 12/14 and know what you go through. I'm not over 40, but I often have similar body issues and such.

    I think you are beautiful and dress really well for your body! Embrace your curves and beauty.

    I have learned after wardrobe blogging for a year that people want to see REAL, BEAUTIFUL women wearing clothes that are accessible. You definitely fit that! :)

  4. Why is it we as women are our own worst critics?!
    You are fabulous - work what you've got and own it!! Everyone has their own idea of perfect, but you are perfect just the way you are.

  5. Joy, what I found about writing my blog is that most of my insecurities, my changing menopausal body, and my self-critisism became less important somehow. Check out this blog from a friend
    Its a process but YOU LOOK FANSTASTIC!!! I love the outfit with the jean jacket!
    I go through the same thing wondering if something is too young--THATS WHY I HAVE MY BLOG! And I'll never feel comfortable in front of a camera. But, I look for ways to improve, and read other people's recommendations and keep plugging---Paula

  6. Thank you, Paula. I wonder if I'm ever going to get comfortable posing. Some people just make it look natural and effortless.

    And now I'm going to check out your blog!

  7. I am breaking my own "no commenting that makes me use my full name" policy just to tell you that I think you're awesome. You two are so funny every day. I am a not-young not-skinny blogger and I appreciate seeing people my age who are willing to put themselves out here, chins (seriously, I would so not have noticed) and all!

  8. Your comments about your picture sounds just like me. I really do find that blogging has helped me to see my body in new ways, but I still find myself focusing on all the flaws in the pictures when they're first taken. It's only later that I can look at them and think, that's a cool picture.
    I love your interpretation of that Rachel Bilson look - definitely not too young.

  9. We as women, are our own worst critics. As Julia Roberts' character in Pretty Woman said to Richard Geres' character, "the bad stuff is easier to believe".

    We look at ourselves and see flaws, our friends look at us and see beauty.

    I love that black & white picture of you Joy. You guys put up pictures of yourselves *I* would like to see in magazines - REAL women.

  10. I love our readers!! Wow! My day has been made already. And to Cynthia, that means a lot that you would break your usual rule and make a comment.

    Thank you ALL!!!

  11. I want to hug ALL of you!!

    And I'm off to look at Cynthia's blog!!

  12. Oh, I love this dress! I think you look wonderful!

    I'm a solid size 10 and sometimes I feel discouraged when I look at other bloggers wearing itty bitty dresses.

    I DO feel that I am too old/too big for certain looks and I accept that. BBM @ once called me her "classic" blogger and I loved that title. I think classic looks look best on my body and while I sometimes feel a little older in what I wear, I would much rather dress my size than dress my age. If that makes sense? In other words-- you'll never see me (a 24-year-old) in leggings or a bikini. In fact, I'm still working up the courage to try skinny jeans. Size 10 to my friends has never been skinny, so I'm not sure if I can wear them!

    ps- I love those tights, too! Wear are they from?

  13. The tights are by Hue and I got them off ebay!

    Size 10 is skinny to me!! I would love to be a 10!! And I still think you can rock the skinny jeans. Honey, if I can wear them, YOU can wear them! You won't see me in a bikini either! LOL

  14. I read this just the other day on one of my favorite fashion blogs. I think this definetly applies.

  15. I'm working on having her good attitude!!

    Love your name, Leah. My daughter's name is Leah!

  16. I just wanna say, I think you guys are SO cool for running this blog. I love your sense of style, and you totally rock that dress and denim jacket.

    I think body image is something all women struggle with. I don't know a single woman who doesn't feel too fat or too thin or somehow "wrong" at some point. I commend you for addressing this topic, and feeling confident enough in sharing your insecurities with your readers. It means a lot to know you trust us.

  17. Thank you so much, Meg! You rock for saying that!