The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.-Steel Magnolias

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Soul Friends

I'm an only child. I always wanted to have siblings,  but it never happened. My mama couldn't have kids so they adopted me. I  have been blessed with some really great friends throughout my life, though. One of those friends is B.

I met B online. We were brought together by our love of General Hospital. (Well, really, it was Sonny and Alexis, but that's another story.) We met on a chatboard for GH.  That year we decided to go to Fan Club Weekend in California and she asked if I wanted to room with her. Of course! We didn't meet face to face until we both got to the Atlanta airport! But from the moment we met, it was like we'd known each other our whole lives. It's almost scary how alike we are. I  know it scares our husbands sometimes. LOL  We try to make it a point to see each other once a year. We even vacationed at their house one summer.  We're going on 2 years not seeing each other, though, and I think we're going thru withdrawals!! We've both dropped GH because it got bad and stupid but we found so much more in common. We love celeb gossip, we love Coach bags, we love to shop, we love to snark!  I would love for B and Lise to meet. They would LOVE each other. The 3 of us together could be dangerous.

My birthday is later this month and B has already sent me the most amazing gift. It's a soul friend necklace. (Pictured above) On one side it says soul friend and on the other it says Anam Cara which is the Celtic spiritual belief that when you connect with another person and form a deep bond, your souls begin to flow together. The “Anam Cara” was originally someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the “Anam Cara”, you could share your innermost self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an “Anam Cara”, your friendship cut across all convention, morality and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the “friend of your soul”. The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul. There is no cage for the soul. The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other.

B is the baby of 5 girls and Lise has 5 siblings. I am so lucky to have found both of these women and they are both like sisters to me. B's daughter invited me to her wedding and said that I was like family and she wanted me there. <sniff> And Lise's kids all call me Aunt Joy.  Both of these women are honest with me. If something doesn't look good, they tell me. If they think I'm wrong, they tell me. We don't always agree on everything. I mean, really, WHO DOES?  But it doesn't matter. Friends don't have to agree on everything. They are the ones I call when I want to bitch or cry or celebrate. They accept me as I am, flaws and all, and I accept them. It sucks that B lives so far away! We've always joked that if, God forbid, something happened to our husbands, we would just marry each other! LOL Of course, we'd have to move to a state that allows that...

I feel like both of them are the sisters I never had, soul sisters. And I thank God every day for bringing both of them into my life. I love you, Girls!!

I hope each of you has at least one person in your life that you can call your soul friend!

Oh, I need an outfit pic, don't I?

The combo of the snow and the bling on the sweater made an aura on the picture. Kind of cool, though.

Speaking of friends, everyone go read this account of Gabrielle Giffords opening her eyes for her friends. It's amazing and heartwarming!


  1. I LOVE YOU JoY!!! And now I am crying and Kaja is like "What's wrong" I say "Joy said I was like her sister". Sweet Kaja says "Well, duh, she's our Aunt." Thanks Kaja. :-)

    I do have to meet B someday also. I have a feeling the three of us would have a lot of fun!
    Soul Sisters. Cool.
    (B: Thanks a LOT for sending her that the heck am I going to top that???!!!) ;)

  2. Joy, your makeup looks FABULOUS in that first picture...just thought I should tell ya!

  3. I had never known about the "anam cara" thing before, but I do grasp the concept. As I read your post I wondered if I had any 'friends' like that. I don't think so, but then I WAS blessed with a sister and daughters.

  4. Joy....that's so wonderful! For many years in my first marriage, I didn't really have girlfriends. Completely eliminated anything that I felt like took any time away from my family. Also, my ex husband was a little possessive/jealous and thought women getting together was code for "trolling for men" or something. Since my divorce, I've made so many wonderful girlfriends. My husband now is so supportive of that and I have found that it's something I HAVE to have. I don't think I have one as close as what you have described with B. Hopefully one day, I'll have that in my life.....a bosom friend (reference Anne of Green Gables). ~Serene

  5. Your story reminds me of Julia Childs' pen pal, Avis, who she connected with and eventually grew so close to. I think women have the ability to connect in the mail or online at a deep friendship level. This is a wonderful story...thanks for sharing!

  6. Cool story!
    Cool necklace!
    Cool beans!

  7. What a beautiful story Joy! My friends are very valuable to me and help me through challenges and make me laugh all the time.

    Lovely necklace!

    Stay Happy and Positive!




  8. You know there's a book called "Anam Cara". I received it as a gift years ago and now can't find it, so I might have gotten rid of it in a move. I do remember liking it at the time I read it.

  9. What a lovely post, Joy! This really spoke to me because I'm an only child too and also have a few friends who are like sisters to me.

    P.S. red is your color!

  10. This is such a wonderful post. I know i keep saying this but i mean it. thanks for sharing.The necklace is beautiful and I love all the meaning behind it. I'm going to get one for my sister.

  11. I cried when I read this. Appropriately enough, I was in the mall when I read it :-)

    When I saw that necklace, I immediately thought of you. I can't believe we've known one another for almost 10 years. It's flown by so fast.

    You know I love you more than my luggage :-)